i may be ugly, but they sure love to stare. [22 Feb 2006|07:51pm] [ mood | depressed ] [ music | cute is what we aim for. ] what do you do when you realise that your entire life has changed? thats the question ive been asking myself over and over again while im locked up in this beach house, staring at a wonderfull veiw; a full mini bar; and access to the most money a girl could ask for, but still hating my life to death. I dont know the answer to it, and i probley wont for a while. I really dont like this feeling, i dont have what i use to have, and i really wish i did. what do you do when the one thing most important to you, just gets up and leaves? thats been going through my head alot too. I thought i was going to marry him. i had wedding pages bookmarked on my computer , just thinking he was going to propose SOON enough, i know were just in highschool, but i honestly wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, as i thought he did with me. i couldent stand not being with him every second of my life, i couldent stand other girls staring at him; because, he was pretty much the most gorgeous guy in las vegas. I thought he cared about me, i thought he loved me, and i most of all i thought he would never leave me. I was wrong, so very very wrong. One day, without even a goodbuy, he packs his bags and moves out of las vegas, no more ryspoon and c-money. I dont even know why i still love him. what do you do when your family deserts you? my parents are off in some mad rad escapade in europe, and my sister just randomly ditched me. I'm sick of being left by everyone, I'm sick of all of it so much, but no matter what theres nothing i can do about it. what do you do when you realise your best friends are shutting you out? i really dont know what to say about that one, i really really dont. Allie dosent even call me anymore, i don't know whats going on with her, and i miss her to death. It's really hard to live without her. My other best friend, johnny, i think im losing him. Hes .. in love.. with someone, and i was just hoping we could go back to the way we were before i met ryan. i'll always love the kid, but with him in love with someone else, its going to be weird. I dont think im coming back from california for a long time. [[i cant get on aim, but i can get on aimexpress sooo, for now, chloes aim name is x discography because i cant link. <33youguys!]] 12 comments|post comment

[18 Feb 2006|09:28pm] its just a lyrical lie made up in my head. im done with all of this . my friends are gone, my boyfriend is gone. i dont know what to do with myself anymore. i really dont know what to do. tears for fears bitches. 4 comments|post comment

dont forget to check the obvious, we are so serious. [18 Feb 2006|09:21pm] [ music | cute is what we aim for. ] drama doesnt follow me, it rides on my back. i may be ugly but they sure love to stare. and you check labels more than the FCC but these calories are killing me this is a sticky situation so keep your chest in the game just drop your jaw and coax me i miss him so much ryans gone, dont ask me why dont ask me how. i dont fucking know okay. im going to go to cali for a while, to the beach house, if anyone needs me, call my sidekick. cant promise its going to be on. [ my aim should work sometime this week or tomorow, im so sorry guys<3] 3 comments|post comment

[13 Feb 2006|05:03pm] dear whomever cares, valentines day tomorow, im really not looking forward to it. my friends are distant from me, my boyfriends distant from me, my sisters distant from me. wtf is going on?! its just a stupid commmercial holiday, made to boosts candy&flower sales.. when really, who the fuck wants a box of chocolate shoved in there face with it basically screaming " GET FAT ". fat isent good, fat is bad. thats what the media says anyways. why is our life so based on what the media says? why do we only care about what they want us to care about? i'm done caring. oh and chelsea, found out where our ever so wonderfull parents are, call me when you get a chance or just stop by my room. ryan, i love you and i miss you. allie, im sorry your life sucks, and im sorry im such a horrible friend. im not sarcastic either. signed, emo-chloe. 8 comments|post comment

hold on tight, cause i am, oh i'm the revolution. [09 Feb 2006|07:52pm] [ mood | lonely ] [ music | the veronicas. ] ryan.johnny.allie.adele.bden.lauren.alishia.chelsea. where did you all go? i miss you oh so much. :'( 18 comments|post comment

i feel like the biggest idiot . [06 Feb 2006|09:37pm] i had some bad thoughts, there over now tho. i was being an idiot. thank you allie <3 old married couples are cute. ryspoon, i love you soooooooooo much. <333 4 comments|post comment

[ lvmod ] a regulaur decorated emergency [05 Feb 2006|06:28pm] lvmod only.

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